A magazine survey shows that the three sentences Chinese parents say most to their children are: obedient, hard study, and unpromising. These three sentences are indeed Chinese-style, and they can completely cover the eagerness of Chinese parents to achieve success. This kind of expectation of parents is certainly understandable, but what kind of educational effect will these three sentences achieve and what kind of influence will they bring to children’s psychology, it deserves every parent’s careful reflection.
When we were young, before going to school every morning, our parents always told us “don’t be naughty, listen to the teacher”. In daily education, we always repeated that we should listen to the adult’s words. It should be said that in the era when the independent thinking ability of the whole nation was generally lost or this kind of right was deprived, it was hard for people to realize that such advice was not complete and unscientific, such requirements are also understandable. But times are different. In the modern society which emphasizes creation and personality development, it is not only one-sided to put forward obedient requirements for children, and it stays in a low level which is behind the spirit of the times. There are two phenomena that deserve our meditation. One is that many parents with high education still regard “obedience” as the main requirement for their children, which shows that they pay attention to respecting and abasement, growing up and young, the traditional culture of filial piety is deeply influenced, and parents with high education still have quality defects. Secondly, parents often say nothing in front of the contradiction revealed by this kind of education.
Therefore, we should not only educate children to believe in truth and science, but also educate them to establish the idea of “I love my teacher, and I love truth more. We also need to teach children to think and compare, and form their own independent judgment in the process of identification and selection. China, which is in full line with the world, should also integrate children’s education with the world.
About “study hard”
Our generation, even the previous generation, grew up in the earnest instruction of “study hard and learn from each other every day. No matter when, it is right to ask children to study hard. The problem is that in an era that emphasizes quality education, it is far from enough to ask children to “study hard. Be good? Love family? How can you keep your actions in pace with the times? These are all necessary qualities for people living in the new century. Why don’t parents ask repeatedly? If it is connected with another sentence “unpromising” that parents often say, it is that they still think that “everything is inferior, only reading High”, or “everything is easy, only this is big”, only by studying hard can we achieve success and become a human being. This kind of biased understanding makes children’s schoolbags bigger and heavier, and many children are overwhelmed by the various interest classes that parents enroll for them, I can’t enjoy the bright sunshine and green grassland of my childhood. Later, when children grow up and find that Li’s childhood memories are just books and classrooms, will they shout “return my childhood?
Parents dare to use this sentence to reprimand their children. Their children’s test scores are less than 90 points, and they are worthless; Their children can’t write well, and they are worthless; Their children accidentally smashed the neighbor’s glass, which is worthless; Their children speak in class, nothing; Children can’t play ping pong, play ball, play piano well, nothing…… In the eyes of parents, there are too many unpromising things for children. Success, “Modern Chinese Dictionary” is interpreted as “referring to the future of development or ambition”. Can we conclude that children have no future and ambition only by these things? In the process of growing up, children are bound to have careless mistakes, setbacks and failures. Parents must learn to give them bright and positive guidance, blindly criticizing “no success” is a kind of negative psychological hint, which can only lead children to abandon themselves and to real “no success”. When I was a child, I was dull, naughty and even naughty, but I finally became a famous and famous master. Are there still few such examples? When I was young, I was smart, but when I grew up, I felt the wounds of all the people. Didn’t I say something in my ears? There was a child who couldn’t figure out why he wanted to take the first place in the class but only got 21. He asked his mother if she was smarter than others. Mother didn’t answer, she was afraid of hurting the child’s self-esteem. When he graduated from primary school, his mother took him to see the sea once, He answered the child’s question in the process of watching the sea. When the child was admitted to Tsinghua University with the first place in the whole school and his alma mater directed him to give a report, he told everyone the answer his mother gave him: “Look at the birds competing for food at the seaside, when the waves hit, Little Sparrows could always take off quickly. They flapped their wings two or three times and then rose into the sky; While seagulls always seemed very clumsy, and it would take them a long time to fly into the sky from the beach, however, they are still the ones who can really fly over the sea and across the ocean.” Give your children a little confidence and encouragement. I believe that your children will be able to become seagulls flying over the sea and across the ocean through hard work!